HouseFans.Net - Quotes

Cuddy: You ran here? House: It's just eight miles. House: Why does a dog lick its...what's an acceptable euphemism for testicles? Wilson: Because he can. --Cuddy, House, and Wilson, after House ran eight miles to his first day at work after the Ketamine treatment. -- (3.01 Meaning)
House: I've changed. Wilson: No you haven't. House: No I haven't. --House/Wilson on whether or not House has changed mentally as well as physically post Ketamine. -- (3.01 Meaning)
It's called the employer-employee relationship: I get what I want, and you don't. --Cuddy to House, when he tried to compromise with her. -- (3.01 Meaning)
Wilson: You really don't give a crap, do you? House: Does that make me evil? Wilson: Yeah. --Wilson and House, talking about why House took a case. -- (3.01 Meaning)
Hey, Foreman! You're momma's so fat, when her beepter goes off, people think she's backing up! --Chase, trying to diss Foreman. Obviously his remark met with blank stares. -- (3.02 Cain and Able)
God doesn't limp. --House -- (3.02 Cain and Able)
Dr. Powell: Dr. Chase said my calcium was normal. House: We call him "Dr. Idiot." --House trying to convince Dr. Powell to give the team a little more time to figure out his condition. -- (3.03 Informed Consent)
Foreman: I had a date last night - she screamed. Should we spend $100,000 testing her? House: Of course not. This isn't a veterinary hospital. Zing! --House and Foreman arguing over whether an autistic boy is really ill. -- (3.04 Lines in the Sand)
Cuddy: We just replaced the last MRI you broke. House: Referring to the fund-raising funbags by the royal We, now? --Cuddy/House, after House's staff put a 600-pound patient on the MRI. -- (3.06 Que Sera Sera)
Everything is conditional. You just can't anticipate the conditions. --House -- (3.07 Son of Coma Guy)
This baby won me second place in the clinic's weekly "weirdest thing pulled out an orifice" contest... You don't want to know what came in first... Rhymes with "fucchini." --House, in between Cuddy's protestations. He's referring to a laser pointer he aimed at her while she was wooing some donors. -- (3.09 Finding Judas)

Cuddy: You ran here?

House: It's just eight miles.

House: Why does a dog lick its...what's an acceptable euphemism for testicles?

Wilson: Because he can.

--Cuddy, House, and Wilson, after House ran eight miles to his first day at work after the Ketamine treatment.
-- (3.01 Meaning)

House: I've changed.

Wilson: No you haven't.

House: No I haven't.
--House/Wilson on whether or not House has changed mentally as well as physically post Ketamine.
-- (3.01 Meaning)

It's called the employer-employee relationship: I get what I want, and you don't.
--Cuddy to House, when he tried to compromise with her.
-- (3.01 Meaning)

Wilson: You really don't give a crap, do you?

House: Does that make me evil?

Wilson: Yeah.
--Wilson and House, talking about why House took a case.
-- (3.01 Meaning)

Hey, Foreman! You're momma's so fat, when her beepter goes off, people think she's backing up!

--Chase, trying to diss Foreman. Obviously his remark met with blank stares.
-- (3.02 Cain and Able)

God doesn't limp.
--House
-- (3.02 Cain and Able)

Dr. Powell: Dr. Chase said my calcium was normal.

House: We call him "Dr. Idiot."
--House trying to convince Dr. Powell to give the team a little more time to figure out his condition.
-- (3.03 Informed Consent)

Foreman: I had a date last night - she screamed. Should we spend $100,000 testing her?

House: Of course not. This isn't a veterinary hospital. Zing!
--House and Foreman arguing over whether an autistic boy is really ill.
-- (3.04 Lines in the Sand)

Cuddy: We just replaced the last MRI you broke.

House: Referring to the fund-raising funbags by the royal We, now?
--Cuddy/House, after House's staff put a 600-pound patient on the MRI.
-- (3.06 Que Sera Sera)

Everything is conditional. You just can't anticipate the conditions.
--House
-- (3.07 Son of Coma Guy)

This baby won me second place in the clinic's weekly "weirdest thing pulled out an orifice" contest... You don't want to know what came in first... Rhymes with "fucchini."
--House, in between Cuddy's protestations. He's referring to a laser pointer he aimed at her while she was wooing some donors.
-- (3.09 Finding Judas)